Choosing Joy After Loss: A New Perspective on Grief

Grief has a way of taking hold of your life and making you question everything. After losing my son Drew, I didn’t know if I could ever feel joy again. At first, it seemed impossible. But over time, I discovered that even amidst the deepest grief, it is possible to choose joy — and to live with intention and purpose once more.

The Complexity of Grief

Grief is a multifaceted emotion. It comes in waves, sometimes crashing over you, other times receding like a quiet tide. There’s no roadmap for grief; it doesn’t follow a linear path. And yet, despite its unpredictable nature, there are ways to navigate it that can help us rebuild our lives.

Thank you for joining me. I’m your host, Melissa Hull. You are listening to the Melissa Hull Show, and right now I’m going to give you a little bit of homework, if you will. Okay, well, I guess you can decide if you want to do it or not, but I’m going to make some suggestions, and I hope they will be useful to you.

One of the most powerful tools I used in processing my grief was journaling. After Drew passed, I wrote him a letter every day for a year. It was my way of connecting with him, even though he was no longer physically here. I imagined him in Neverland, with Peter Pan, flying from cloud to cloud. This exercise allowed me to see him as vibrant, happy, and full of life. That visualization helped me remember how he was in life, and slowly, it allowed me to imagine what my own life could be like if I chose to embrace joy again.

Small Steps Toward Joy

Initially, I only allowed myself 15 minutes of joy a day. That might not sound like much, but for someone in the depths of grief, 15 minutes felt like a monumental task. I spent those minutes doing things that brought me happiness — whether that was painting, spending time with loved ones, or simply being in nature. Over time, those 15 minutes grew, and so did my capacity for joy.

Today, when I think about my son Drew, I feel love and gratitude. I miss him, of course, but my grief no longer dominates my life. I have learned to honor his memory by living fully and joyfully, something that he, with his adventurous spirit, would have wanted for me.

Drew was a child full of life and curiosity. He challenged every rule, explored every possibility, and embraced each moment. I have taken that lesson to heart and now live my life with the same sense of wonder and purpose. I strive to make each day count because I know that’s what Drew would have wanted.

Creating a New Normal

Grief doesn’t mean forgetting the person you lost. It’s about creating a new normal — a life where you can honor their memory while still moving forward. It’s about finding meaning and purpose even after loss. For me, that has meant helping others on their healing journey, sharing my story, and showing people that it’s okay to feel joy again.

I want to encourage anyone reading this who is going through a difficult time to take small steps toward joy. Start with just a few minutes a day, doing something that makes you smile. Surround yourself with supportive people, and allow yourself the space to heal.

Thank you for being a part of this heartfelt community on The Melissa Hull Show. Your presence means the world, and I am truly grateful for the time we’ve spent together. As we wrap up another episode, remember that you are not alone on this journey.

Connect with me on Instagram @greaterthangrief or visit my website at MelissaHull.com. Until we meet again, my friends, be well.