Guarding Your Heart and Assets: How to Protect Yourself While Grieving

Written By Melissa Hull

Grief cracks us open in ways we never expect. It rearranges our sense of safety, our decision-making, even our ability to think clearly. When my son Drew died in a tragic drowning accident, I didn’t just lose my child — I lost the life I knew. In the fog of that grief, I also learned something else: not everyone shows up with compassion. Some show up with hidden agendas.

It’s not easy to talk about, but I’ve lived it.

In the months following Drew’s death, while my husband and I were doing our best just to get out of bed, we discovered that a trusted employee, someone who had been close to our family, had been embezzling from our business. Not just once, but over a period of years. The betrayal was profound. We were reeling from the most devastating loss of our lives, and now we had to face financial theft from someone we trusted. The emotional, spiritual, and financial blow was almost too much to bear.

I share this not to make you feel fearful, but to help you feel prepared. Because no one tells you that when your world falls apart, some people see opportunity. And while we cannot control the actions of others, we can choose how we protect ourselves — emotionally, financially, legally, spiritually.

That’s why this conversation matters.

Grief lowers your bandwidth. It clouds your thinking. And it makes it harder to trust your instincts. That’s not a flaw. It’s a truth. So today, I want to gently and firmly offer some of the wisdom I had to learn the hard way, so that you don’t have to.

Why Protection Matters During Grief

When we’re grieving, we are tender. Open. Disoriented. The protective filters we once had in place are softened by sorrow, which can leave us exposed in ways we never anticipate. People mean well, but sometimes they insert themselves into your life with more control than care. Other times, the harm is intentional.

I’ve seen it happen to others, and I’ve lived it myself. That’s why I want you to feel empowered — not scared, not closed off — but grounded and conscious of the practical steps you can take.

  1. Be Gentle With Financial Decisions

Grief fog is real. The emotional overload makes even basic decisions feel like heavy lifting. When someone asks you to make a big financial choice — whether it’s selling property, investing, giving money away, or signing something legally binding — pause.

Say these words out loud and often: “I need more time.”

There is no rush. And if someone is rushing you, that’s your red flag.

Bring in a trusted advisor, a financial planner, an attorney, or a family member who knows your heart and has your back. You don’t need to carry this alone. And you don’t owe anyone immediate answers.

  1. Protect Your Property and Inheritance

It’s heartbreaking to say, but grief has a way of surfacing tensions, especially when estates or assets are involved. People who have never asked about certain matters before may suddenly take an interest.

Be cautious. Have legal documentation in place. Make sure any conversations about property, bank accounts, business interests, or inheritance include your attorney. It’s not paranoid. It’s protective. And you have every right to protect what your loved one left behind.

  1. Guard Your Emotional Space

When you’re in deep grief, your emotional walls are down. That doesn’t mean you should let everyone in. Some people, consciously or not, may try to become your go-to emotional outlet, but it’s not always healthy or mutual.

Check in with yourself: Do I feel more peace or more pressure after spending time with this person?

Lean into safe relationships. People who can sit with you, witness you, and not try to fix you. Boundaries are a gift you give yourself.

  1. Be Extra Mindful of Personal Information

This might sound like common sense, but in grief, our usual awareness dims. Be cautious about what you share online or even in casual conversations. Scams, phishing, identity theft — these things don’t pause for heartbreak. In fact, grief can make you a target.

Pause before sharing sensitive details. Secure your passwords. Check your bank and credit activity. Ask a trusted loved one to help you monitor things for a while if you feel overwhelmed.

  1. Vet Charitable Requests with Care

When your heart breaks open, you want to do something with all that pain. Many of us look for ways to give back or honor the person we’ve lost. That’s beautiful, and it should be protected.

Before giving:

  • Research the organization

  • Ask for verification

  • Avoid high-pressure asks or sudden donation requests

Give, but give wisely.

Communication Tools That Can Help You Stay Protected

Here are a few of the simple, grounded tools I use and teach others during vulnerable seasons:

  • Ask for clarity. Say: “Can you put this in writing for me?”

  • Get second opinions. Before signing or committing, run it by someone you trust.

  • Take your time. Anyone pressuring you likely doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

  • Document everything. Save emails, notes, agreements. Keep a paper trail.

  • Trust your gut. If it feels off, it probably is.

These aren’t just protection strategies — they’re grief tools. Because part of healing is learning how to reorient your power in a disoriented world.

You Deserve to Heal Safely

No one can take away the pain of your loss. But you deserve to move through it with dignity, support, and safety. That includes having your heart honored and your practical world protected.

It may feel uncomfortable to think about these things right now. I understand. But honoring your own safety is not a distraction from your grief. It’s a sacred part of it.

Because grief doesn’t just need softness. It needs structure.

And if you don’t know where to begin, you’re not alone.

If you found this blog helpful and you’re looking for additional content like this, you can visit my website at melissahull.com or explore the Greater Than Grief community. That’s where I regularly share more in-depth blogs like this one, and where we hold Q&A discussions to help grievers navigate some of the most difficult, often unspoken parts of the healing journey.

With love and light,

Melissa Hull

Let’s Stay Connected!

I’d love to keep the conversation going. Whether you’re looking for free resources, inspiration, healing tools, or want to dive deeper through my courses and podcast — there’s a space for you here:

Wherever you are on your healing journey, know that you’re not alone.

Melissa Hull
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