Carrying Love Into the Future: Rituals That Keep Us Connected

Written By Melissa Hull

One of the hardest myths of grief is the idea that we have to “let go” in order to move forward. People say things like “It’s time to move on” or “You have to let the past go.” But here’s what I know after 25 years of living with loss: you don’t let go of love. Love never leaves.

When my four-year-old son Drew died, I thought my future would always feel empty. But over time, I learned that Drew is not just part of my past — he is part of my present and my future. His love lives in every decision I make, in every child I advocate for, in every life his story touches.

The same has been true in other kinds of grief. When my marriage ended, I carried not only the heartbreak but also the lessons, the resilience, and the self-worth I had to reclaim. That chapter of my life shaped me, and those lessons still guide me into my future.

We don’t “get over” grief. We carry it. And in carrying it, we learn how to bring what we’ve lost forward with us — not as a weight, but as a source of love, wisdom, and presence.

That’s what rituals — and prayer — help us do.

Rituals as Bridges Between Then and Now

Rituals aren’t about holding on to pain. They’re about honoring the connection that endures. They are bridges between then and now, between what was and what is still deeply present.

When I speak of rituals, I don’t just mean religious ceremonies. I mean the personal, intentional acts that tether us to our loved ones or to the love we felt in a past season.

For some, it’s lighting a candle on a birthday. For others, it’s cooking their favorite meal, listening to their favorite music, or carrying forward a tradition they started. For those grieving a divorce, it might look like creating new rituals with your children while still honoring the good memories of the family that once was.

And prayer is one of the most sacred rituals of all. When words aren’t enough, prayer becomes the place where we pour out our hearts before God, trusting that He holds what we can’t carry on our own. Prayer is not about “fixing” grief; it’s about being willing to sit with God in the ache and allow His presence to remind us that love never leaves.

For me, this is rooted in my faith as a believer in God and in Jesus. That’s where I personally find strength and alignment. But I also know that people honor connection in different ways. Whether through prayer, meditation, stillness, or reflection, what matters is creating space to remember that love is still with you and that you are not alone in it.

Personal Rituals That Carried Me

For me, one of the most sacred rituals is speaking Drew’s name. I never want the world to forget him, and so I make him present in my conversations, in my writing, in my work. When I tell his story, he is here.

Another ritual I’ve created is through service. Every time I work on water safety initiatives, I know I’m carrying Drew forward. His story is not frozen in the past; it is actively shaping a safer future for other children.

And when I sign copies of Dear Drew: Creating a Life Bigger Than Grief, that too is a ritual. Each signature is a way of saying: Drew, you are still here. Your life matters. Your love continues to ripple outward.

In my marriage grief, rituals looked different. They were quieter, more internal. They were moments of journaling, prayer, and reflection. They were conversations with God where I admitted the pain I couldn’t name to anyone else. They were prayers of surrender: “Lord, show me how to begin again. Show me how to carry love into this next season without bitterness.”

Those rituals of prayer weren’t about forgetting. They were about aligning myself with God’s truth: that love never leaves, and His presence never forsakes us.

Rituals That Expand Love

Here are a few meaningful ways I’ve seen love carried forward through ritual:

- Milestone Rituals: A bride placing a locket with her father’s picture inside her bouquet so he walks with her down the aisle. A graduate wearing a pin in honor of a sibling who died. These moments allow love to take its rightful place in celebration.

- Everyday Rituals: A parent making pancakes every Sunday because it was their child’s favorite tradition. A divorced mother planting flowers each spring as a symbol of new growth. Small, ordinary acts become holy when done with intention.

- Prayer Rituals: Setting aside a daily time to talk to God about your loved one. Reading a Psalm of lament and turning it into your own prayer. These rituals remind us that our loved ones are held in God’s care while their love remains alive within us.

Why Rituals Matter

Rituals help us move forward with love, not without it. They reframe grief from something that isolates us into something that connects us — to our loved ones, to our past selves, to God, and to our community.

They also help us integrate grief into daily life rather than treating it as something to “get over.” Grief doesn’t vanish on anniversaries or birthdays. Rituals give us a way to honor those days without being consumed by them.

And when prayer is part of those rituals, it deepens them. Prayer transforms remembrance into communion. It shifts grief from something we carry alone into something we carry with God. It helps us release control and trust that our loved ones are held by Him, even as we continue to hold them in our hearts.

Creating Your Own Rituals

If you are grieving — whether the loss of a child, a spouse, or a relationship — here are some questions to guide you in creating your own rituals:

1. What did your loved one or your relationship symbolize for you?
 Was it joy, security, laughter, creativity? Find small acts or prayers that help you embody those qualities now.

2. What traditions mattered most?
 Holidays, songs, meals, or places that held meaning can become rituals of remembrance. Add a prayer of gratitude for the love those traditions represent.

3. What future do you want to build with this love?
 Your rituals don’t just honor the past — they shape the future. Ask God to guide you into new ways of carrying love forward.

Moving Forward Without Leaving Love Behind

One of the most healing truths I’ve learned is this: moving forward does not mean moving on. We don’t abandon love when we create a bigger life. We carry it, honor it, and let it shape the way we live.

Drew is in my future because I bring him there. My past marriage is in my future too, because it shaped the woman I’ve become — not in bitterness, but in wisdom.

Rituals, especially those grounded in prayer, are how we keep love alive in the present tense. They remind us that grief isn’t about holding on or letting go — it’s about learning how to walk forward with love still intact.

So whatever your grief looks like, I encourage you to find ways to create your own rituals of remembrance, connection, and prayer. Not to trap you in the past, but to carry love with you as you step into your future.

Because life after loss isn’t about leaving love behind. It’s about letting love — and God’s presence — lead you forward.

Let’s Stay Connected!

I’d love to keep the conversation going. Whether you’re looking for free resources, inspiration, healing tools, or want to dive deeper through my courses and podcast — there’s a space for you here:

Wherever you are on your healing journey, know that you’re not alone.

Melissa Hull
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When Grief Becomes a Path to Leadership: Finding Purpose After Loss