Gifts That Can’t Be Wrapped: Finding New Ways to Honor Love During the Holidays

Written By Melissa Hull

One of the hardest parts of facing the holidays after loss is realizing how different everything feels. The shopping, the wrapping, the traditions — all of it highlights the absence of the one you wish could still be there.

After Drew’s accident, that ache was especially sharp. I longed for ways to keep him included. One year, I asked my family to write down their favorite memories of Drew in place of presents. On Christmas morning, we exchanged envelopes filled with stories — little glimpses of him brought back to life through laughter, tears, and remembrance.

That year changed everything. Those memories became treasures I still revisit, and they remind me that love doesn’t disappear. It simply asks to be expressed in new ways.

Memory as a Gift

That Christmas when my family shared memories of Drew, I realized how powerful it is to give stories instead of things. Each memory gave me a chance to see him through someone else’s eyes, to hear details I might never have known, and to feel his presence woven back into the moment.

I’ve often said I want to be a Moment Millionaire. Not a millionaire in dollars or things, but in memories — because I treasure moments far more than objects. The time we spend together, the laughter we share, the stories we tell — those are the riches I carry with me.

In the years after I said goodbye to Drew, I’ve come to see that the most valuable things in life aren’t things at all. They’re the memories that live inside us, the moments that remind us love is real and lasting.

When we shift our focus during the holidays from accumulation to connection, we become wealthy in the ways that truly matter.

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Presence Over Presents

Sometimes the most meaningful offering we can give isn’t an object at all, but our time, attention, and honesty.

- Shared Moments: Take a walk, bake cookies, or watch a favorite holiday movie together.
- Listening Ear: Hold space for one another to speak openly about the person you miss.
- Acts of Kindness: Do something generous for someone else in your loved one’s honor — serving at a shelter, donating, or simply helping a neighbor.

These simple acts shift the season away from performance and pressure, and back toward presence — which is, after all, what most of us are longing for.

Spiritual Anchors

For me, the holidays are also a time to lean into my faith. My belief in God and in Jesus has carried me when I thought I couldn’t carry myself. It reassures me that love doesn’t end, and that Drew’s spirit is still with me.

But grounding doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Some find it through meditation, reflection, storytelling, or simply slowing down. However you connect, the holidays can be a reminder to pause and exchange intangible but lasting gifts — kindness, gratitude, hope, and love.

Creating Meaningful Traditions

If the thought of holidays the “old way” feels overwhelming, allow yourself to create something new.

Some families choose to:
- Make a charitable donation in their loved one’s name.
- Cook or bake something they enjoyed and share it with others.
- Begin a ritual of gratitude before a holiday meal, remembering both the love that remains and the person who is missed.

These small but intentional practices help us carry love forward, turning absence into presence in ways that feel grounding and true.

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Final Thoughts

If you’re entering this holiday season with a heavy heart, remember this: you don’t need to do everything the way it’s always been done. You don’t need to pretend. Simplify if you need to. Create space for what feels authentic.

Ask yourself: What story, memory, or act of love could I share this year?

Because the most meaningful offerings aren’t found in stores. They’re found in connection, in remembrance, and in the love that continues to live through us.

Those are the gifts that truly last.

If this holiday message encouraged you, I’d love to stay connected:

Wherever you are on your healing journey, know that you’re not alone.

Melissa Hull
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The Empty Chair at the Table: Keeping Love Present in Holiday Celebrations